Wikipedia Review
Edited Jun 25, 2008 9:17 am
Somey writes:
We're sorry to say that The Wikipedia Review has suffered another attack by unknown assailants. This time, recovery may take a bit longer than usual, and we're aware that WR's recovery times have not exactly been ultra-speedy in the past. And since it was the database that was attacked this time, some more-recent material posted to the site may have been lost, and quite possibly permanently.
Needless to say, we're sorry about this, and we hope to take steps soon to further secure the site against this sort of thing. However, we're not professional web security people (and we're not even all that sure who "we" are in the first place), so you might have to bear with us for a little while on that score.
At least we've changed the video since the last time.
Thanks,
The Wikipedia Review
Update: The Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) Attack on Wikipedia Review's Web Hosting Service was of limited duration and caused no damage to the contents of the site. Only the access roads leading up to the doorstep were clogged by the DDoS Attack.
(7 previous messages)
- Jan 30, 2009 9:43 am (#8 of 13)
Letter to Jimbo Wales, Chairman Emeticus
Dear Woolworths Foundation Board of Trustees,
As you requested, here are the faculty recommendations regarding the qualifications of the Umbridge Twins (Mike and SB_Dolores) to assume the duties of Headmaster here at Woolworths School of Political Dramaturgy.
We were especially impressed by the recent production in which the impressionable young students of Woolworths School of Political Dramaturgy were inducted into the long-forgotten practice of employing Parliamentary Bill of Attainder. The symbolic allusions to the Trial Scene from Alice in Wonderland was an especially brilliant maneuver.
We are confident that, with the Umbridge Twins in charge, our students will quickly learn all the well-known hoary practices from the rubbish heap of political history dating back to the Forgotten Realms of Hammurabi.
And, at the end of the term, all the students are cordially invited to Go Jump In the Lake.
(signed)
Humble Members of Your Obedient Faculty Senate
Ottava Rima, Chairman of the Committee on Crime and Punishment
Darklama, Recoding Secretary
Sxeptomaniac, Sargeant at Harms
KillerChihuahua, Redactor of Records
- Jan 30, 2009 10:55 pm (#9 of 13)
Moulton, thanks for the Trial Scene from Alice in Wonderland and I LOVE the concept of the Woolworths School of Political Dramaturgy!
It also makes me nostalgic: when I still hosted the old IF, I wanted everybody to read both about the old Greeks and Hannah Arendt's political philosophy of Greek politics as something that takes place on a stage.
- Jan 31, 2009 5:13 pm (#10 of 13)
Moulton, "Wikipedia Review" #8, 30 Jan 2009 8:43 am
How long did WikiWorldia let this classic wonder stand after you posted it?
- Jan 31, 2009 7:09 pm (#11 of 13)
Oh it's been baleeted about 6 times already, since I first posted it on Jimbo's own talk page, on Wikipedia and Meta-Wikimedia.
Doubleplusgood, the overzealous Admins are range-blocking all of Verizon DSL in Greater Boston, all of MIT, and all of MoS. That's about 350,000 IPs. But I have many more domains left to post from.
- Feb 12, 2009 8:01 am (#12 of 13)
Kauderwelsch Review
Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell
February 14th, 2009
WOOLWORTHS FOUNDATION SCHOOL OF POLITICAL DRAMATURGY, NETHER HELL — After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Kauderwelsch Review, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opens its doors on Valentines Day.
Graphic Courtesy The Onion
Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell
Kauderwelsch Review, located in Nether Hell between the former eighth and ninth levels of Malebolge and Cocytus, is expected to greatly alleviate the overcrowding problems that have plagued the infernal underworld in recent years. The circle is the first added to Hell in its countless-millennia history.
"A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell," inferno spokesperson David Gerard said. "The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound."
Adding to the need for expansion, Gerard said, was the fact that a majority of the new arrivals possessed souls far more evil than the original nine circles were equipped to handle. "Demagogues, mendacious manipulators, swaggering soldiers of fortune, nefarious eaters of broken organ meats retained by rival forums, and creators of vexagonistic lunatic scapegoat psychodrama — these new arrivals represent a wave of spiritual decay and horror the likes of which Hell has never before seen," Gerard said.
Despite the need for expansion, the plan faced considerable resistance, largely due to the considerable costs of insuring construction projects within the Kingdom Of Lies. Opposition also came from Hell purists concerned about the detrimental effect a tenth level would have on the intricate numerology of Hell's meticulously arranged allegorical structure. In 2008, however, funding was finally secured in a Dickensian deal brokered between Kauderwelsch CEO Pompous Pilot and Satan himself.
Pompous Pilot
Prior to the construction of the tenth circle, many among the new wave of sinners had been placed in such circles as Trolls and Troglodytes, Flamers and Spammers, Sowers of Discord, Flatterers and Seducers, Artless Crime Capers Against Art, and Common Hypocrites. Hell authorities, however, say that the new level, the Circle of Total Bastards, located at the site of the former Well of Interminable ArbCom Cases just above the Grawp's Tumescent Tool at Hell's Center, better suits their insidious brand of evil.
Curbolo Firus, a leading demonic presence, is one of the most vocal supporters of the new circle.
"In the past, the underworld was ill-equipped to handle the new breed of sinners flooding our gates — demonizing forum owners, clique coordinators, cross-forum promoters, and vast hordes of cretinacious disinfotainment-industry malefactors troller-posting and typing on ergonomic keyboards while doing mouse wheelies at the same time. But now, we've finally got the sort of top-notch Pits of Doom necessary to give such repellent abominations the quality boilings they deserve."
Pausing to tear off the limbs of a former Wikipedia Review Mod, Curbolo added, "We're all tremendously excited about the many brand-new forms of torture and eternal pain this new level's state-of-the-art facilities will make possible."
Among the tortures the Kauderwelsch Circle of Total Bastards boasts: the Never-Ending Drive-By Posting, Manipulative PoV Pushing, Dopamine-Driven Flights of Fancy, and Unspeakably Scandalous Allegations.
The Circle also features a Hall of Hot Air, where condemned political pundits, clad in popcorn-festooned avatars soaked in spirit-draining acrimony, are forced to blather for centuries on end, covered in vomit and prodded with the distended ribs of skeletal, anorexic grandmothers, accompanied by an unending, ear-splittingly loud dance-remix version of the 2007 Barsoom Tork hit "The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down."
In a nearby area, IDCab Goons are forced to carry the mouse pads of uneducated Europhile migrant posters from project to project for eternity, withering under a constant barrage of verbal abuse from their former subservients as Jon Awbrey descends from the trees to peck at their livers while PrivateMusings nibbles on their spleens. In one of the deepest and most profane portions of the circle, unspeakable acts of admonition are said to be committed by a fire-breathing 'zilla with a menacing demeanor.
"In life, I did content management at Wells Fargo and Macys," one flame-blackened miscreant told reporters. "When I arrived here, they didn't know what to do with me. They put me in with those condemned to walk backwards with their heads turned all the way around on their necks, for the crime of attempting to manipulate the future. But then I sent a couple of invisible friends to the right people, and in no time flat, I secured a cushy spot for myself in the first circle of the Virtuous Unholy. Now that was a sweet deal. But before long, they caught on to my game and transferred me here to the realm of Total Bastards. I've been shrieking for mercy like a goddamn cretin ever since."
Her face contorted in the Misery of the Damned, Durova, a part-time talk show host, said: "It's hell here — there are too many seagulls dropping guano, I can't get any favorable press, my blog site is frequented by snarky characters. I'm dissed every 30 seconds, and there's no way to return the favor. Plus, I'm being boiled upside down in lard while jackals gnaw at the soles of my feet. If I could just reach the outcropping on that nearby rock, I could signal some well-placed associates and work something out, but it's just out of my grasp, and I'm out of patience, out of mercy, and I'm constantly hearing the message, 'No Personal Attacks, No Personal Attacks, No Personal Attackss.'"
She then resumed screaming in agony.
KillerChihuahua, a Captain in Hell's elite Demon Corps and supervisor in charge of assignments for the new circle, said Hell's future looks bright, thanks to the new circle.
"Things are definitely looking up," Killer said. "We're now far better equipped, and we're ready to take on the most Unholy Atrocities humanity has to offer."
"We're really on the growth spurt down here," KillerChihuahua added. "This is an exciting time to be in Hell."
- Apr 5, 2009 9:17 pm (#13 of 13)
Edited Apr 6, 2009 4:33 am
Hiya Brutha
Gomi has been outed, and linked to User:Gnetwerker.
By their snares they gotcha, Gomi,
By the cunning Sweet Blue Water,
Stood bewigged one Gnetwerker,
Daughter of Rue Monge (a bonus).
Dark behind it rose the tempest,
Rose the black and gloomy slugfest,
Rose the fires with clowns upon them;
Bright before it beat the squatter,
Beat the daring slumming squatter,
By the cunning Sweet Blue Water.
Wikipedia Review